Every once in a while, something happens in our lives to cause us to reshuffle our priorities. I was devastated when the dearest man of my life passed away. Prior to that, she was the only person in the world I felt closeness with. She is truly one living example. She’s astonishing and independent. She never complained sharing the love of her husband with me. When he passed away, she told me not to blame anyone for his departure. She taught me how to cry and let go, live and stay strong and I was awed by her personality. As said, she is unique. And we’ve together ever since. But now at 50, her life changed and so did mine.

Overnight, it seemed. We were facing one of those bleak periods that many of us encounter from time to time. A sudden drastic dip in the graph when everything goes stale and flat, energy wanes and faith dies. I’ve been suffering from restless nights. Waking up hours from dawn, when the entire world is looming dark and nothing seemed clear. It had been another long week of anger, stress and denial. We were both desperately needy for a perfect relief to this misery, yet it’s not something in which luck could help. And time is all it takes to make her happy again.

Just like her, I used to live in perpetual fear of losing things I had, or never having the things I hoped to acquire. I’ve often asked myself “What if?” What if I become overweight, out of shape or unattractive would any man on earth loved me for who I am? What if I kept losing my hair, would it turn bald? What if I ate an extra piece of chicken, where would it go? What if I she left me, would I manage to live strong? What if … I was obsessed with my weight, how I looked physically, I restrained myself from eating, I told myself I wasn’t hungry and I even restrained myself from fast food. The devil in me was simply overtaking my life. And just like her, I was never happy and suffered from eating disorder. She never told anyone about it. The news came out in the open when she decided to stop attending school. She completely turned into a different person. Obviously, she doesn’t look the same too.

It’s not going to be easy. The journey is bound to be long and chilly. But it just breaks my heart to see the woman of my life, suffer from heartbreak. Mothers are, no doubt the greatest species on earth; they give unconditional love without asking for return. Sisters are merely just a pain in the ass but better than nothing. I’ve enjoyed my days of joy with this 50-year-old woman; now it’s just time to share the bitter with her.”

 I am the only one, I can’t do everything, but if I can do something, I will not refuse to do, at least something is done”