Профиль пользователя Mio☜♡☞ ๑۩۞۩๑ • ღ A stage of...ФотографииБлогСпискиДополнительно  |  Сервис Справка |
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января 16 Story of someone familiarSometimes, when sorrow is deep and the healing balm of time moves too slowly, a grieving heart may look for consolation in something more tangible. When i lost my dad, my destiny careened dramatically from snuggly to loose ended. Overnight, my childhod vanished. Dad's death transformed my world into a no-man's land, a place marked by shock and disbelief, a barren landscape stripped bare of life - incomprehensible. I felt as if i, too, had died. For the first three months, my family and i had to spend the days living with one of my uncle & his family. I tried hiding from the fact. I did not allow myself to feel the pain. I imagined as if he's on a vacation. But another part of me knew i was ambivalent about returning home because i felt as if his spirit lived there. Going home meant facing the myriad fragments of memories he'd left behind.
Grieving souls do not heal easily. Intellectually i understood it. In retrospect, i wasn't ready to accept the wisdom behind the words. Going home turned out to be a rapid descent into hell. The familarity of my surroundings only sharpened my awareness of his absence. Incomplete, i'd lost a vital part of my identity. At the age of only 9, there was only less than a handful of ppl i could talk to. Due to that, i stayed in bed all the time after classes. Alterrnating between sleeping and crying, my eyes vanished into pockets of swollen flesh. My strength and inner resources shriveled. Relationship between me and mom went from nice to ugly. I stopped talking to her. I didn't know what was on her mind. I doubt she knows what's on my mine either. Days and nights merged into one another, time became irrelevant. One fine arguement and i decided to take my life. For i don't recall how long it has been, wearing nothing but a scanty hospital gown, i lay motionless on the bed. I felt like a spectator watching myself fade away.
Then, suddenly, i realized i wasn't meant to die this way. It wasn't my time to die. After that day, when i stepped out of the hospital into the world, i finally felt ready to find a way to live with the bundle of pain i carried inside. My life has irrrevocably changed. My experiences are what mould me to be who i am today. It may be hard, but it will heal. Комментарии (5)Чтобы добавить комментарий, войдите с помощью идентификатора Windows Live ID (если используется учетная запись служб Hotmail и Xbox LIVE или программы Messenger, у вас уже есть идентификатор Windows Live ID). Войти Нет идентификатора Windows Live ID? Зарегистрироваться
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